And especially they trust us as the next of kin, the next person, the one that they think they can rely on in times of need; and then at that time, we just turn around and are snobbish, because they didn't treat us nice so we just want to revenge.
尤其他们信任我们是最亲密的人，认为在需要时可以信靠，可是我们却很势利转身离去，只是因为他们不再对我们好或是我们只是想要报复。
That's not the time. You can revenge later, when he's in better shape. Just slap him.
这真不是时候！你可以等一下再报复，等他好一点时，打他一巴掌。
Actually, at that time, the person is not his usual self anymore. He was probably under very great pressure that he lost his own control.
事实上，那时候那个人已经不再是平常的他，可能已因压力极大而失去控制；
It's not really lost his own control, but for example, when you are in a hurry, your talk is different. Right? "Hand me that coat! Quick! Quick! Quick!"
也不完全是失去控制，而是像当你很匆忙时，说话的语气自然会不一样，你会说：“拿外衣给我，快快快！”
Things like that. But normally, you would say "Honey, please, can you give me that coat." Is that not so? (Audience: Yes.) Or when you're in pain -- for example stomach pain, heartache or whatever -- you scream loudly; and anyone who comes to talk to you, you don't talk in the usual way anymore, because you're in pain.
而在平常你则会说：“亲爱的，能不能请你拿那件外衣给我。”是不是这样？（大众答：是）或当你在痛苦时，像是胃痛或头痛时你会大叫，人家来看你时你也无法像平常那样谈话，因为你正痛得不得了。
Similarly, when you are in a mental or psychological pain, you talk also in a very grouchy way, very cross.
同样的，当你处在精神或心理的疼痛时，你的谈话自然会显得粗暴。
But that is understandable. So if we -- any so-called loving partner or family member -- do not understand even this very least, very basic concept, then we're finished.
但这是可以理解的。如果我们这些所谓的爱的伴侣或家人不知道这最起码、最基本的观念。
Then we are really in a bad situation. It's not that the partner will do anything to us. Whether he does anything to us later or not, that is no problem.
我们就完了，我们会很糟糕。并非另一半会对我们怎样，无论对方以后有没有对我们怎样，那都不是问题。
The problem is us. The problem is we degrade ourselves, that we make less of a being of ourselves than we should be, than we are supposed to be, or that we really are. So do not make less of a being of yourselves.
问题是在我们自己－－我们贬低了自己，不配自己应有的身分，所以千万不要贬低自己。
