对于沉迷于社交媒体的青少年，这个 4 步计划可以提供帮助

The holiday season is right around the corner, and for many that means more time spent with family across generations. Before you demand that your children drop their smartphone to talk meaningfully about gratitude at the Thanksgiving dinner table, take a moment to consider what you're asking.

When it comes to generational divides, it's hard to find one bigger than technology use, especially social media. How to talk to teens about technology use (and reduce it) is one of the most common questions I get from parents in my child and adolescent psychiatry clinic.

Adults worry that technology overuse is taking a toll on their children's mental health. For teens, it's more complicated. Whether it's social media, gaming or online chat forums, the digital landscape has become fundamentally integrated into their everyday life.

Faced with that conflict, I typically ask parents and caregivers not only how much their kids are using technology, but how they are using it and how that use is impacting their headspace. Once we know the answers to those questions, we collaborate to find solutions.

Rather than try to fight the use and engage in a tug-of-war, families can focus ahead of the holiday season on how they use social media. Knowing that some social media use negatively impacts mental health, families can together can shift to a social media strategy that supports teens' social and emotional health.

It's important that parents and caregivers spend some time in careful reflection in partnership with teens. (Parents, don't try to do this alone.) Here's my four-step framework to help navigate this new space together and make productive, healthy changes:

Step 1: Help teens evaluate how they are using social media

Talk about the quality of the content your children are consuming online. Is it generally positive, like inspirational quotes or pictures of cute babies? Or is it negative, like politically charged news or memes that make fun of certain groups? All content is not created equal, and without intentionally and critically evaluating which bucket the content falls in, it's harder to figure out what to consume more of versus less.

Your teens' pattern of use is just as important. Do they typically find themselves on social media when they are feeling happy, down, bored or angry? Do they scroll through social media to distract themselves from uncomfortable feelings or to avoid doing homework that's been piling up into a mountain? What happens when they step away from their device?

By asking teens to reflect on the link between real life and when they pick up their phone to open Instagram or TikTok, you might identify an underlying problem that needs more attention, like anxiety. Or you could help them identify better ways to cope with uncomfortable feelings, like calling a friend or listening to music.

Step 2: Ask how social media use is serving them

This is where it's time to ask your teens to be real with you about the impact of social media on their mental health. Ask them how they feel after scrolling on social media. Do they notice a difference in how they feel when they view one type of content, like puppy videos or body-positive posts, versus another, like heavily edited and unrealistic photos of influencers or content from someone in a negative headspace?

Often, teens will admit that the thought of breaking from social media makes them incredibly anxious at first. But when they do separate themselves from their device, they end up feeling better. It's not that surprising, as taking time away from social media altogether can help you stay present in the moment in a way that's helpful for your mood and overall mental health.

The more links teens can make on their own between how they use social media and how that usage pattern serves them or makes them feel, the more likely they will be to want to make changes for themselves, if it's on their terms.

Step 3: Encourage teens to identify the changes they want

Ask your teens if they want to change the way they are using social media right now, and if so, how. Perhaps they have identified that they want to spend less time on social media. Maybe they have noticed that they feel badly about themselves after comparing their lives to those of others, and they wish the content left them feeling better about themselves instead of worse. Whatever the changes are, it's a good time to catalog them intentionally and set specific goals.

It can be especially helpful to focus on what they would get out of the changes. Are they looking to gain some time back for more offline activities? Are they looking to boost their mood or self-esteem? Are they looking for more authentic connection and experiences?

It's critical that your teen set their goals for themselves. It's how they will buy into the process and likely follow through with any changes.

Step 4: List and commit to the steps needed to get there

Now is the time to get concrete. What is it that needs to happen for your teens to achieve their stated goals? Do they need to take screen-time breaks, or place restrictions on their phone? Does the phone need to go into a basket at dinner, or be left in the common space when it's bedtime?

Or maybe they are happy with how much time they are spending online but want to focus on what they are consuming. What accounts that make them feel bad do they need to unfollow or block, and what types of accounts will they look to follow? How will they approach spring-cleaning their feed? Will they replace five negative accounts with five positive ones per day, or do they have another method they'd like to try?

Some teens have noted that disabling comments, making their accounts private, or keeping their social media use within certain bounds, like particular hours of the day, are helpful tricks to regaining some peace of mind.

With a generation of digital natives sitting across the Thanksgiving table from generations who grew up solely playing outside with the next-door neighbors, it can feel like both parties are coming from different planets when it comes to topics like technology and social media.

Rather than try to fight where teens are coming from, accepting that technology use is part of their way of life, and instead focusing on quality over quantity, will allow for more productive conversations. That's the space in which real, healthy change can happen.

对于沉迷于社交媒体的青少年，这个 4 步计划可以提供帮助

假期即将来临，对许多人来说，这意味着有更多的时间与家人一起度过。在您要求您的孩子放下智能手机在感恩节餐桌上有意义地谈论感恩之前，请花点时间考虑一下您的要求。

谈到代际鸿沟，很难找到比技术使用更大的鸿沟，尤其是社交媒体。如何与青少年谈论技术使用（并减少它）是我从儿童和青少年精神病学诊所的父母那里得到的最常见问题之一。

成年人担心过度使用技术会损害孩子的心理健康。对于青少年来说，情况更为复杂。无论是社交媒体、游戏还是在线聊天论坛，数字环境已经从根本上融入了他们的日常生活。

面对这种冲突，我通常不仅会问父母和看护人他们的孩子使用技术的程度，还会询问他们如何使用技术以及这种使用如何影响他们的头脑空间。一旦我们知道这些问题的答案，我们就会合作寻找解决方案。

家庭可以在假期之前关注他们如何使用社交媒体，而不是试图与使用作斗争并进行拔河比赛。知道某些社交媒体的使用会对心理健康产生负面影响，家庭可以一起转向支持青少年社交和情绪健康的社交媒体策略。

父母和看护人花一些时间与青少年一起仔细反思是很重要的。 （家长们，不要试图单独做这件事。）这是我的四步框架，可帮助大家一起驾驭这个新空间并做出富有成效、健康的改变：

第 1 步：帮助青少年评估他们如何使用社交媒体

谈论您的孩子在线消费的内容的质量。它通常是积极的吗，比如励志名言或可爱婴儿的照片？或者它是负面的，比如带有政治色彩的新闻或嘲笑某些群体的模因？并非所有内容都是平等的，如果没有有意和批判性地评估内容属于哪个类别，就更难弄清楚消费更多还是更少。

您青少年的使用模式同样重要。当他们感到高兴、沮丧、无聊或生气时，他们通常会在社交媒体上发现自己吗？他们滚动浏览社交媒体是为了让自己从不舒服的感觉中分心还是避免做堆积如山的家庭作业？当他们离开他们的设备时会发生什么？

通过让青少年反思现实生活与他们拿起手机打开 Instagram 或 TikTok 之间的联系，你可能会发现一个需要更多关注的潜在问题，比如焦虑。或者你可以帮助他们找到更好的方法来应对不舒服的感觉，比如给朋友打电话或听音乐。

第 2 步：询问社交媒体的使用如何为他们服务

现在是时候让您的青少年对您真实地了解社交媒体对他们心理健康的影响。询问他们在社交媒体上滚动后的感受。他们是否注意到当他们查看一种类型的内容（例如小狗视频或身体积极的帖子）与另一种类型的内容（例如经过大量编辑和不切实际的影响者照片或来自消极头部空间的人的内容）时，他们的感受有何不同？

通常，青少年会承认，一开始想摆脱社交媒体会让他们非常焦虑。但是，当他们确实将自己与设备分开时，他们最终会感觉更好。这并不奇怪，因为完全远离社交媒体可以帮助您以一种对您的情绪和整体心理健康有帮助的方式保持在当下。

青少年在他们如何使用社交媒体以及该使用模式如何为他们服务或让他们感到之间建立的联系越多，他们就越有可能想要为自己做出改变，如果这符合他们的条件。

第 3 步：鼓励青少年确定他们想要的改变

询问您的青少年是否想改变他们现在使用社交媒体的方式，如果是，如何改变。也许他们已经确定他们希望在社交媒体上花费更少的时间。也许他们已经注意到，在将自己的生活与他人的生活进行比较后，他们对自己感觉很糟糕，他们希望内容能让他们对自己感觉更好，而不是更糟。无论变化是什么，现在都是有意识地对它们进行分类并设定特定目标的好时机。

专注于他们将从更改中获得什么特别有帮助。他们是否希望为更多线下活动争取一些时间？他们是想提升自己的情绪或自尊吗？他们是否在寻找更真实的联系和体验？

您的孩子为自己设定目标至关重要。这就是他们将如何参与该过程并可能会跟进任何更改的方式。

第 4 步：列出并提交实现目标所需的步骤

现在是具体的时候了。您的青少年需要做什么才能实现他们既定的目标？他们是否需要休息一下屏幕或对手机设置限制？手机需要在晚餐时放入篮子里，还是在睡觉时留在公共空间？

或者，他们可能对自己在网上花费的时间感到满意，但希望专注于他们正在消费的内容。他们需要取消关注或阻止哪些让他们感觉不好的帐户，以及他们希望关注哪些类型的帐户？他们将如何对饲料进行春季大扫除？他们会每天用五个积极的帐户替换五个消极的帐户，还是他们想尝试其他方法？

一些青少年已经指出，禁用评论、将他们的帐户设为私密或将社交媒体的使用限制在特定范围内（例如一天中的特定时间），是恢复内心平静的有用技巧。

一代数字原住民坐在感恩节餐桌旁，他们几代人都是在外面和隔壁邻居一起玩耍长大的，当谈到技术和社交媒体等话题时，双方都来自不同的星球。

与其试图与青少年的来历抗争，不如接受技术使用是他们生活方式的一部分，而不是关注质量而不是数量，这将使对话更有成效。这就是真正、健康的变化可能发生的空间。