'Everybody had gotten sick of me': Jennifer Lawrence on why she stepped away from the spotlight
(CNN)Jennifer Lawrence has revealed that she is "nervous" about returning to the spotlight after taking a step back when she felt "everybody had gotten sick of me."
The Oscar winner spoke to Vanity Fair magazine for its December issue cover story in a wide-ranging interview, touching on the challenges of fame, a near-death experience, the trauma of having intimate photos leaked online and the gender pay gap.
Lawrence, who is expecting a baby with husband Cooke Maroney, is due to make her return to the screen with Adam McKay's comedy "Don't Look Up."
Speaking to Vanity Fair, the 31-year-old star said: "I'm so nervous... I haven't spoken to the world in forever. And to come back now, when I have all of these new accessories added to my life that I obviously want to protect."
The interview touches on the movies Lawrence worked on before she took a step back from the spotlight, which included "Passengers," "Mother!" "Red Sparrow" and "Dark Phoenix."
"I was not pumping out the quality that I should have," she said. "I just think everybody had gotten sick of me. I'd gotten sick of me."
Lawrence said she had started to think she couldn't do anything right.
"If I walked a red carpet, it was, 'Why didn't she run?'... I think that I was people-pleasing for the majority of my life," she said.
Now Lawrence is pregnant and, although she declined to talk about how she feels about becoming a mother, she did share her thoughts on protecting her child.
"Every instinct in my body wants to protect their privacy for the rest of their lives, as much as I can. I don't want anyone to feel welcome into their existence. And I feel like that just starts with not including them in this part of my work," she said.
In 2014, a hacker leaked nude photos of Lawrence and other female celebrities. The actress spoke about the impact this has had on her.
"Anybody can go look at my naked body without my consent, any time of the day," she said. "Somebody in France just published them. My trauma will exist forever."
She also recounted an experience from 2017 when a small private plane she was traveling on had to make a hard emergency landing after both of its engines failed.
"Flying is horrific and I have to do it all the time," she said, explaining how she had started leaving "little mental voicemails" to her family as the plane hurtled towards the ground.
Lawrence, previously named the world's highest-paid actress, also touched on the reported pay discrepancy between her and "Don't Look Up" co-star Leonardo DiCaprio.
"Look, Leo brings in more box office than I do. I'm extremely fortunate and happy with my deal. But in other situations, what I have seen -- and I'm sure other women in the workforce have seen as well -- is that it's extremely uncomfortable to inquire about equal pay," she said.
"And if you do question something that appears unequal, you're told it's not gender disparity but they can't tell you what exactly it is."
The film airs on Netflix next month and CNN has reached out to the streaming service for comment.
Read the full cover story "A Happy New Year" by Karen Valby in Vanity Fair's December issue and on VanityFair.com.
“每个人都厌倦了我”：詹妮弗·劳伦斯谈她为何远离聚光灯
（美国有线电视新闻网）詹妮弗劳伦斯透露，当她感到“每个人都厌倦了我”时，她退后了一步，对重返聚光灯感到“紧张”。
这位奥斯卡奖得主在接受《名利场》杂志 12 月刊封面故事的广泛采访时谈到了成名的挑战、濒死体验、亲密照片在网上泄露的创伤以及性别薪酬差距。
正在与丈夫库克·马罗尼 (Cooke Maroney) 生孩子的劳伦斯 (Lawrence) 将让她与亚当·麦凯 (Adam McKay) 的喜剧《别抬头》(Don't Look Up) 一起重返荧屏。
这位 31 岁的明星在接受《名利场》采访时说：“我太紧张了……我已经很久没有和世界说过话了。现在回来，当我添加了所有这些新配饰时我显然想要保护的生命。”
采访涉及劳伦斯在她从聚光灯下退后一步之前工作的电影，其中包括“乘客”，“妈妈！” “红麻雀”和“黑凤凰”。
“我没有发挥出我应有的品质，”她说。 “我只是觉得每个人都厌倦了我。我已经厌倦了我。”
劳伦斯说她开始认为她不能做任何正确的事情。
“如果我走红地毯，我会问，‘她为什么不跑？'……我认为我一生中的大部分时间都在讨人喜欢，”她说。
现在劳伦斯怀孕了，虽然她拒绝谈论她成为母亲的感受，但她确实分享了她保护孩子的想法。
“我身体的每一个本能都希望在他们的余生中尽可能地保护他们的隐私。我不希望任何人在他们的存在中受到欢迎。而且我觉得这只是从不将他们包括在内开始我工作的一部分，”她说。
2014 年，一名黑客泄露了劳伦斯和其他女明星的裸照。这位女演员谈到了这对她的影响。
“任何人都可以在未经我同意的情况下，在一天中的任何时间去看我赤裸的身体，”她说。 “法国的某个人刚刚发表了它们。我的创伤将永远存在。”
她还讲述了 2017 年的经历，当时她乘坐的一架小型私人飞机在两个引擎都发生故障后不得不紧急紧急降落。
“飞行是可怕的，我必须一直这样做，”她说，并解释了当飞机冲向地面时，她是如何开始给家人留下“小小的心理语音邮件”的。
劳伦斯曾被评为世界上收入最高的女演员，她也谈到了她与《不要抬头》联合主演莱昂纳多迪卡普里奥之间的薪酬差异。
“看，利奥带来的票房比我多。我对我的交易感到非常幸运和满意。但在其他情况下，我所看到的——我相信工作中的其他女性也看到了—— - 是不是询问同工同酬是非常不舒服的，”她说。
“如果你确实质疑一些看起来不平等的事情，你会被告知这不是性别差异，但他们无法告诉你它到底是什么。”
这部电影下个月在 Netflix 播出，CNN 已联系流媒体服务商征求意见。
在 Vanity Fair 12 月刊和 VanityFair.com 上阅读由 Karen Valby 撰写的完整封面故事“新年快乐”。
